Prelude to a Very, Very Bad Day for Kyo
by Geoduck
Summary: A cute photo leads to an accidental confession, and now Kyo's life is in peril.


Arisa Uotani took a long sip from her beverage, then sighed contentedly. "So, Hanajima, you said you had something to show us?"

Tohru nodded with excitement. "Yes, I'm very interested at what Hana-chan has to share."

Saki looked at her two friends gravely. "Indeed. As I was assisting Kazuma-sensei with housecleaning, I came across an old photograph that I thought might be of interest to you." She carefully reached into her purse, pulled out a small picture, and solemnly set it in front of her two friends.

The subject of the photo was Kyo—the bright orange hair made that obvious. It had been taken well over a decade ago, as he was very small—almost a toddler, in fact.

Tohru's heart melted at the sight. Kyo was just so _adorable_ as a little boy. And such a cute expression on his face! She had rarely seen such a big grin on the cat of the Sohma family.

It was the raucous laughter of her oldest friend that shook Tohru out of her Kyo reverie. "This is hilarious! I can't believe it! Kyo has an 'elephant' picture!"

"Eh? What does Uo-chan mean? There is no elephant in the picture."

"No, not really an elephant. I mean... well, you know, a boy's 'thing'? Some people say it looks a little bit like a tiny elephant's trunk."

"Ah... I see."

Saki looked intently at her friend. "Tohru-kun, I'm surprised that you reacted so calmly at this photo. I had expected you to be embarrassed or at least to blush."

"Yeah, Tohru. Here's a picture of your boyfriend, stark naked, and you've got a gooey expression on your face. What's the deal?"

"W-well, he's so young in the picture, there's nothing I should be embarrassed about, right? And besides, I've already seen him nake-" Tohru suddenly stopped when she realized she was saying way too much. After all, she had seen Kyo (and Yuki and Shigure, and basically all of the cursed Sohmas) naked, but if she explained why, she would reveal the family curse, which she had promised never to do.

Saki and Arisa loomed large over Tohru. "You've _already_ seen him _naked_?"

"Uh, well, I mean..." Now she was blushing.

"Wait, Hanajima, this is Tohru and Kyon we're talking about. He probably forgot to lock the bath, Tohru went in to clean it, they ran into each other, and Tohru probably spent the next two weeks apologizing."

"That does seem like a likely scenario. Well, Tohru-kun, is that what happened."

Her face now a bright red, Tohru tried to escape. "N-no. Not really. Oh, is that the time? I should go..."

Arisa blocked her from leaving. "You don't suppose that Kyon is some kind of exhibitionist, do you?"

"I do recall that he did start to take his costume off while still on stage after our class play was over. Obviously I'll have to teach him decent manners once he becomes my stepson."

"No, Kyo-kun isn't like that!"

"Wait... you don't suppose... that Tohru was _peeping_ at him?"

"It seems unlikely, but perhaps his obliviousness at Tohru-kun's affection led to her taking voyeuristic liberties with him. Shame, Tohru-kun, shame."

"Yeah, Tohru, nice girls don't peek at their boyfriends getting undressed."

Tohru was completely mortified. "No, you've got it all wrong! It was all an accident!"

Saki nodded. "Perhaps we should let Tohru-kun tell her story, Arisa."

"Sure. So, you accidentally saw Kyon naked?"

Tohru hesitated, then nodded.

"And it wasn't in the bath?"

Tohru shook her head in denial.

Arisa chuckled. "So you accidentally went into his bedroom when he was in the middle of changing. That'll teach you to forget to knock..."

Tohru shook her head. "No, not in his bedroom."

Arisa held up her hand. "Wait... where exactly _did_ you see him?"

"Oh, in the living room", Tohru blurted out without thinking.

Arisa and Saki rose to their feet. "So Kyon really _is_ an exhibitionist!"

"Yes, some discipline, tempered with physical punishment will definitely be in order."

Arisa cracked her knuckles menacingly. "I think this shouldn't wait a minute."

"I agree. I believe that this is one of Kyo's afternoons with Kazuma-sensei, so we should find him there."

"Hana-chan... Uo-chan... please, don't..."

"Don't worry, Tohru. We won't hurt him. We just need to beat all of the perversion out of him."

"Yes, Kyo is clearly too perverted to be allowed to date Tohru-kun at this time. Let us go, Arisa."

Arisa put a bill on the table to pay for their drinks. "After you. See ya, Tohru-kun."

Stunned, Tohru watched her two friends as they went on their errand of violence. As she recovered from her paralysis of fear, she quickly left the restaurant and found a pay telephone. She quickly dialed a number.

"Ah, Kunimitsu-san? Hello, may I speak to Kyo-kun please? Oh, he's busy? Can you please give him a message? Please tell him that he needs to go on a training trip to the mountains."

She listened intently to the receiver.

"No, not 'soon'. Right now. In the next twenty minutes. Yes, thank you, very much Kunimitsu-san."

Tohru hung up the phone. Absentmindedly, she reached into her purse, and pulled out the photo she had rescued from the restaurant.

"You know, it really does look like a trunk."


End file.
